Rift World & Arkham Sanitarium: The Story So Far (Updated July 2019)

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Before we get into everything, let me start by saying that obviously, this is not required reading to watch my videos. I am doing this for 2 reasons: 1) for those who are interested in “playing along” and possibly learning more about the so-called universe I’ve created and who may be new to my channel, and 2) to set some things straight (as possible) and make some things official.

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Ephemeral Rift Podcast Episode 4

Once again we walk through the forest of the mind during this exercise in unfiltered freethinking:

Intro: anger as motivation Leftovers: individual histories and relationships; do personality opposites attract (i.e. the introvert & extrovert); meaning in a meaningless universe

Appetizers (viewner/listener topics): pros & cons of growing up today vs the past; the problems with political correctness, censorship, groups and groupthink; Math Rock

Main Course: anxiety & nightmares, dreams, sleepwalking, etc.; is everything cyclical

Dessert: The Walking Dead; The Midnight Diner

Have a topic for the podcast? Submit it for consideration here: https://ephemeralrift.com/contact/

Podcast links:
iTunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ephemeral-rift-podcast/id1559306449
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0mRcmWpk4bwXG8786mUrP
Amazon https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9dd88d03-5d74-41a7-8f34-68080e0400ef/Ephemeral-Rift-Podcast
Google https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9lcGhtZXJhbHJpZnRwb2RjYXN0LmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz
Libsyn https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/
RSS https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/rss

Ephemeral Rift Podcast Episode 3

Leftovers: Interconnected society and if we are “Guilty by Association” which will get a deep dive and analysis in a future episode.

Appetizers (viewer/listener topics): Why I left Christianity, How I got into ASMR (having an interest in sound), and Political Punk music.

Main Course: In-depth discussion and insight into various aspects of a long term relationship (the “best friend”, differences, arguments, compromise, etc.) and parenting / fatherhood (responsibility, guidance, affection, being supportive, etc.).

Dessert: Songs from Gojira’s new album, a song by Streetlight Manifesto, and the Amazon series ZeroZeroZero.

Podcast links:
iTunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ephemeral-rift-podcast/id1559306449
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0mRcmWpk4bwXG8786mUrP
Amazon https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9dd88d03-5d74-41a7-8f34-68080e0400ef/Ephemeral-Rift-Podcast
Google https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9lcGhtZXJhbHJpZnRwb2RjYXN0LmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz
Libsyn https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/
RSS https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/rss

Ephemeral Rift Podcast – Episode 2

In this episode I primarily address listener/viewer questions & topics and didn’t get a chance to discuss others that I will in the next episode. In this episode: livestreams, guests/interviews, audio post-production, nihilism & philosophy, advice & life lessons for young people, genetics and mental health, anger, patience, getting burned, Arkham Sanitarium and “The Men”, Japanese society, religion-free world, psychedelics and laws, tangential and circumstantial speech, H. P. Lovecraft, guilty by association, problems with interconnected society, society soup, the two books that impacted my life, the coronavirus vaccine, the SCP foundation, alcohol-free and dreams, aligning the physical & mental, why I left social media, Akira manga, Days n Daze, Celtic Frost, judging people, senseless acts of nonsense, justified violence.

Podcast links:
iTunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ephemeral-rift-podcast/id1559306449
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0mRcmWpk4bwXG8786mUrP
Amazon https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9dd88d03-5d74-41a7-8f34-68080e0400ef/Ephemeral-Rift-Podcast
Google https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9lcGhtZXJhbHJpZnRwb2RjYXN0LmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz
Libsyn https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/
RSS https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/rss

Ephemeral Rift Podcast – Episode 1

The official Ephemeral Rift podcast is back (formally known as EphemRadio)! This is where I get to relax and unload whatever is on my mind and YOU get to hear the real me without a filter. In this episode I touch on the topics of the Coronavirus, its impact on society and technology, trying to obtain a PS5 or Nvidia graphics card, alcohol and being alcohol free, patience and anger, cannabis and laws in the United States, losing interest in things once passionate about, and an idea if you are trying to gain confidence in yourself.

Podcast links:
iTunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ephemeral-rift-podcast/id1559306449
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0mRcmWpk4bwXG8786mUrP
Amazon https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9dd88d03-5d74-41a7-8f34-68080e0400ef/Ephemeral-Rift-Podcast
Google https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9lcGhtZXJhbHJpZnRwb2RjYXN0LmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz
Libsyn https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/
RSS https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/rss

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to Making an ASMR Video about the Civil War

Most of the videos I make for my YouTube channel don’t often have any kind of interesting story behind the reason that they were made. Most. That is not the case for the video called “Relax with a Union Soldier | ASMR” for which this piece of writing is about. But this isn’t really so much about the video and how & why it came to be, than it is about how I came to have a newfound interest in the topic of the video at hand: the American Civil War, more specifically Ulysses S. Grant.

When I was a kid, I hated school for the most part. First off, I went to Roman Catholic school, so there was that. When it came to history though, I could have cared less about anything that was not relevant or important to my survival and growing up. Of course, that’s not how I thought of it back then when I was a kid, but today that pretty much sums up my lack of interest in history and social studies. Ugh. Social Studies

Fast forward to the date of this writing, and for the most part I still have zero interest in history. I like being a simple bipedal hominid: I like family, food, art, nature, games, tech and science (to a degree… i love/hate tech, and dislike almost everything about space exploration for certain reasons, but that’s another article). I do like certain aspects of history such as things revolving around aboriginal tribes, nature, and war. But beyond that.. I could really care less as to who was president, why the roman aqueducts were built, what the state capitals are, who invented whatever, etc. etc.

A few years ago someone commented on my YouTube channel that I should do a Civil War ASMR role-play. I thought that was a good idea, but at that time I wasn’t sure how to go about it, as is the case with most suggestions or even my own ideas. For whatever reason, some ideas just take time to develop and it has nothing to do with needing to be elaborate, well thought out, or spending money on a ton of props. I would continue to think about the Civil War idea off an on over the next few years until March of this year (2020) when all of a sudden my brain decided it was the right time to do the video (who am I to question my brain? It commands, I obey). So I did some research, purchased a variety of props (including civil war reproduction uniform and tent), and made the video.

But about a month prior to making the video, and the whole point of this piece of writing, is that sometime in April, the History Channel previewed a trailer for an upcoming mini-series about the civil war called “Grant”. My wife and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the coincidence: here I am preparing to do a video based on the Civil War, and the History channel is releasing a documentary about it. How apropos. Or is it synchronicity? It was as if the universe was telling me that I needed to watch the series before I could make my video on it (which even more coincidentally wasn’t ready to be filmed until after the series). Too funny.

So we watched the Grant mini series and it was spectacular! Very well produced and acted, sucked me in, and most importantly it had lots of tasty non-biased history morsels about Grant and the Civil War. Nothing appeared to be sugar-coated. And for the first time in my life I had an actual interest in both Ulysses S. Grant and the American Civil War. So much so that after the series was over I was pouring over Grant’s wikipedia entry and even looking for books about him. I have to give kudos to the History Channel. Event though they still produce a lot of dramatized, reality TV crap and are no longer purely history like they once were, I must congratulate them on this.

While watching the series I couldn’t help myself but to feel an overall sense of camaraderie or affinity with Grant as a person for various reasons:

  • His sense of humility / humble nature
  • He made mistakes (especially during the war and presidency) yet wasn’t too proud nor too stubborn to learn from them and try his best to fix them
  • He was a peaceful man (ironically)
  • He was sensitive and quiet as a child
  • He freed a slave that he somehow owned (I don’t want to be naive to think it he was purely out of sympathy / empathy as it could have been, but who really knows. He freed a slave, and that’s all that matters. If I learn anything about this in his memoirs, I will update this post)
  • He appointed Jewish people to federal office
  • He was sympathetic to women’s rights and female suffrage
  • He proposed a constitutional amendment that tried to ban religion in school (including atheism and paganism) and prohibit religious funding, but it was eventually defeated by the Senate.
  • He tried to destroy the KKK (was somewhat successful)
  • He had a Native American on his staff (Ely S. Parker, who also served in the war with Grant)
  • Tried his best to help the Native Americans with his Native American policy
  • And of course, he helped the Union win the Civil War (if you ask me, he was the sole reason the Union won. No Grant = No W in the Win Loss column)
  • He had a big heart

I never knew these things about Ulysses S. Grant and it was eye-opening to say the least. I knew I liked him for a reason. Well a dozen reasons, actually.

So there you have it. What started out to be just a simple, fun role-play of my portraying a union soldier during the civil war, turned out to be quite the unexpected educational experience.

Thanks to those who suggested the video idea, thanks to the History Channel’s mini series, and most importantly, thanks to everyone involved in the Civil War, because if the North had never won, would any of us, even YouTube itself, even be here?? How often do we take our freedom for… wait for it… Granted.

Now, if you’ll excuse me… I just received the paperback version of “The Complete Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant” which is something I never thought I would own, let alone have the desire to read. I am very excited to soak up everything Ulysses S. Grant wrote. And who knows… maybe one day, or in a few years, I will make my own video about him…

Thanks for reading and/or watching.

Best regards,
E.R.

I Called It: Why COVID-19 Won’t Be Going Away Any Time Soon..

Back around March 13 2020, when the Governor of Pennsylvania first declared shutting down schools for 2 weeks when COVID-19 cases first began to show up in our home state in low numbers, I told my wife that 2 weeks is a joke and that they might as well keep schools closed, and that this thing isn’t going away until it is totally eradicated from the face of the earth.

So here we are, late May 2020, with schools permanently closed, along with non-essential businesses, just as I called it.

And even when everything opens back up and schools and businesses are back to normal, COVID-19 will once again rear its ugly head and we will be right back where we started with more cases.

So what do you do? You can’t keep everything shut down forever. Can you vaccinate the entire human race? No. But that’s what you’ll need to do for life to really go back to normal.

I don’t have an answer. I don’t see anything changing anytime soon. For as long as there is at least 1 person with it, it will never go away and will continue to circulate. Vaccinations will limit exposure. Well, perhaps. We don’t even know if they will work, so that’s more “wait and see”.

It will be interesting to see how this all pans out over the next few years..

Stay safe and stay well my friends.

What is ASMR? Why am I whispering?

ASMR is an acronym for the non-scientific term “Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response” which was coined by a layperson to describe a unique sensation experienced by certain people in response to certain stimuli. It’s like goosebumps, but instead of a very brief and uncomfortable moment of the shivers or chills, ASMR is a pleasant feeling that usually lasts a little bit longer, and is somewhat like the shivers but more of an electric feeling often described as a tingling sensation or the “tingles”.

There are many stimuli or triggers that can cause a person to experience ASMR. It could be receiving personal attention or being in a one-on-one situation, such as a getting a haircut, on the phone with customer service, or with a receptionist at the doctor’s office, just to name a few examples. Watching someone perform a detailed task, such as painting or sorting, is also a trigger. And of course hearing certain sounds, such as someone typing on a keyboard, crinkling plastic, and whispering are also ASMR triggers. The list goes on and on..

That is why I whisper in the majority of my ASMR videos: to try and trigger ASMR in the viewer and to create a relaxing experience for them as well, and in many cases help them sleep, which is another benefit of ASMR even if people don’t experience it. ASMR, relaxation and sleep pretty much go hand in hand. Of course, being the creative type that I am, my ASMR videos tend to be on the artistic side of things.

I have experienced ASMR all throughout my life up until my late 40’s. It slowly started to fade away along with my becoming less of an emotional person. As the date of this writing, I no longer experience ASMR and it’s been that way for a few years now. I have also become ever more stoic, calm, less-anxious and less emotional, which I believe is directly related to why I no longer experience ASMR.

I still plan on creating ASMR videos for as long as I physically and mentally can, because it is my passion and my artistic calling so to speak (in addition to my humanist passions of being a husband and father).

Make no mistake: I did not show up on the ASMR scene like a parasite looking to profit.

I started my YouTube channel in September 2011 as a means for a creative outlet. I have always wanted to be a self-made, independent artist in some way, I just never knew what I wanted to do with my life in that regard. I dabbled in music, photography, digital art, writing, t-shirts, but none of it ever panned out, nor was I any good at any of it to say the least.

But then I stumbled upon ASMR in the early Spring of 2012. I found out about the videos, realized that ASMR was “the thing” I’ve experienced all my life and thought I would give it (making ASMR videos) a try, and the rest is history…

Open Letter to Those Battling Against Being Raised Religious

If you are mentally agonizing, struggling, and battling on an almost daily basis over the teachings of whatever religion you were forced to learn, especially if it’s Catholicism, then this is meant for you. If you are someone that is religious, this is not meant for you, so if you continue to read and get triggered, that’s on you.

First, a little background about who I am, just so you know where I come from and that I speak from experience.

I grew up in the 1970’s and was raised Roman Catholic. I went to catholic school for 13 years (elementary for 9 (including kindergarten; there was no middle school in my case) and then high school for the final 4). I’m no expert on religion, but it’s probably one of the most strict religions out there. You have to follow ten “commandments” to the letter if you want to go to heaven, and if you deviate from them you’ll suffer in hell for all eternity unless you confess your sins and say a bunch of prayers.

I was baptized, had my first communion, and was confirmed. I think that’s all of the major milestones one must go through to become an official cult member of the catholic church. I can’t remember. It’s been over 30 years and I’ve been working hard on forgetting all of that horrible stuff.

At some point during my youth, and I like to think it was around 5th grade when I was about 10 years old, I started to think for myself and was in the infant stages of becoming the critical thinker I am today. Eventually I started to hate (strong word, but it’s true) my religion and all of its teachings. While I still attended catholic school, I mentally checked out of the religious curriculum, doing just enough studying and cheating to pass. Actually to be honest, I mentally checked out of most of the subjects I had no interest in, like history and geography. Who cares what the capital of Utah is, the roman aqueducts, or who the 23rd president of the U.S. was!? None of that is relevant and therefore shouldn’t be something taught in school or even tested. But I digress.

Even though I hated my religion, I still attended church every Sunday like clockwork for ~18 torturous years. But I mentally checked out of that as well. I showed up and went through the motions, like mouthing and mumbling the words when it came to having to pray or sing. And yes, I did receive the eucharist, but that was just because I had to, the same reason why I went to confession. I was brainwashed and forced to play the part. I was the good soldier.

At 18 years of age I finally gained my independence as a young adult, but most importantly: my religious freedom. This was a very tumultuous point in my life which ultimately led to my leaving home and a not-so-ephemeral-rift with my parents. Eventually though about 10 years later in my 30’s, I became close again with my mother and father who finally warmed up to my being a nonbeliever. And for the record: they did not force me to leave home. They never hated me or abused me. Aside from being strongly disciplined a few times, the worse thing they did was send me to catholic school. I held it against them for a long time, maybe a decade. But as I stated above, with love, kindness, patience, some understanding, and time, my anger against them lessened, and they also became open to my being a nonbeliever. Eventually it was water under the bridge.

But even though I was close with my parents again, that didn’t help with the mental anguish I was still enduring courtesy of the catholic church and its teachings. All through my life, even up to my early/mid-forties, the teachings of the catholic church continued to be a mental thorn in my side. It has been a lifelong battle in overcoming being brainwashed by the catholic church.

Finally, as I write this and slowly creep to becoming 50 years old in a few years, I can honestly say that my catholic upbringing no longer has a negative impact on my daily life as it once did. My thoughts are no longer constantly consumed by it. I no longer have any anger about it. I no longer have strong feelings of guilt, shame and regret. Sure, I still wish that organized religion would go away and that people would stop indoctrinating their children into it. I still get angry whenever I hear about priests and nuns abusing children. And I’m here writing this. But ~98% of the time religion is not on my mind at all.

I don’t believe in god, but I’m not arrogant enough to think a god does not exist. I just don’t know. I didn’t create the universe. None of us did. Maybe a god did, maybe not. I really don’t care! I don’t wake up and face the day with thoughts about god or religion. I simply live.

You and I, dear reader, do not know each other. I may not know your exact situation that you are dealing with, but the mental battle is not that entirely different. It’s real. And you, I, and so many others, can relate.

Be patient with yourself. Endure. Overcome. Rise above.

Don’t take the anger and frustrations you feel out on anyone else, most especially yourself! Do something constructive with that energy instead. Exorcise those demons by exercising, or writing about your anger in a personal journal, vlogging, painting, drawing, sculpting or any number of positive and constructive ways that will get you through those moments of mental torment and anguish. And if your family cuts ties with you, so be it! It’s their loss! Be steadfast, headstrong and resilient when it comes to being whoever you want to be in this life, especially when it comes to the topic at hand: not believing in god, and leaving your religion to crumble in the dust of your past.

I am free. And you can be too.

Does it mean I’m completely free from the clutches of my religious upbringing? No. You don’t spend 13 years of your impressionable youth having religion ingrained into every fiber of your being and then wake up one day at 20, 30 or 45 years of age and have completely forgotten about it all. I can sit here and recite the Hail Mary prayer in its entirety as if I were 10 years old all over again. I am sure it still has some kind of subconscious role in my life that I may not be aware of. But consciously I am not thinking of religion throughout the day nor making conscious decisions and life choices based on my religious upbringing.

I live the life I choose to live defined by my own personal beliefs or lack thereof, my own philosophy, my own morals, and my own mindset. All of which I am free to add, delete, modify and evolve whenever I so please and however it best benefits myself and those I love first and foremost.

All my best,
Paul aka Ephemeral Rift

Below are photos of some elementary school projects for religion class that I did just to show you the ridiculous stuff they brainwashed us kids with.

The Poetry of Iggy Manley

Below are the “poems” (minus the poem “Meat”) from the “The Poetry of Iggy Manley” video. I just had fun whipping up these lyrics the day before creating the video. I used to dabble and have fun writing terrible amateur poetry / song lyrics like this from when I was a teen and up until my 30’s. If you are new to my website: Iggy Manley is one of the characters I have created on my YouTube channel.

“Bitch, You a Clown”

You think you’re a man,
chasing money and fame?
You’re so pathetic,
you give little girls a bad name.

You wouldn’t know a man,
if his junk slapped you in your face.
You’re just an insecure boy,
wishing a man were in your place.

The only real man here,
is the one dropping these phat rhymes.
So pay strict attention,
like Carl listening to Rick Grimes.

Real men don’t brag.
Real men don’t boast.
Real men like fruit topping
on top of their french toast.

Real men don’t take selfies,
to post on social media.
Real men use their brains,
like when reading the encyclopedia.

Real men don’t respect,
every person that they meet.
Real men only respect,
persons that eat meat.

Real men don’t own & drive,
fast, expensive cars.
Real men don’t get belligerent or drunk,
at sports events, strip clubs and bars.

I could go on and on,
but boy, you just ain’t worth my time.
So let me finish up,
with this one final sick rhyme:

Bitch, you a clown,
in a circus sideshow.
All you’re good for is a laugh.
You ain’t anyone worth getting to know.

“Arkham Sanitarium”

I know a sick ass place,
that’s far away from here.
Where the doctors and the nurses,
will make all your worries disappear.

This place cannot be reached,
by air, land or sea.
It is not on any map.
And it’s not for all to see.

It’s a truly amazing place,
where all of time stands still.
Where anxiety & stress melt away,
without ever having to take a pill.

It’s a living, sentient creature,
I know that’s hard to believe.
Just be warned before you enter,
for once you do you’ll never leave.

It’s called Arkham Sanitarium
for Mental Rehabilitation.
It’s the place that you’ll call home.
It’s your final destination.

“Video Games Rule”

Video games rule.
They’re awesome and great.
And anyone who disagrees
can get eaten by a creepy clown living under a sewer grate.

Video games are the best.
Of this you can be sure.
Because there’s nothing in the world
that people would rather do more.

Than to play video games,
every second of every day.
At home, at school, at work,
even take them to their graves.

Pong, Zork, Space Invaders,
Asteroids, Missile Command.
Joust, Galaga, Donkey Kong,
Defender, Pitfall, Pac-Man.

Gauntlet, Super Mario Brothers,
Double Dragon, Tetris, Contra.
Bubble Bobble, Mike Tyson’s Punch Out,
Ms. Pac-Man, The Legend of Zelda.

Prince of Persia, Day of the Tentacle,
Another World, Wolfenstein 3D.
The Secret of Monkey Island,
Wasteland, Duke Nukem 3D.

Doom, Quake, Resident Evil,
Tomb Raider, Fallout, Half-Life.
Thief, Starcraft, System Shock,
Baldur’s Gate, Counter-Strike.

Skyrim, Bioshock, Call of Duty,
Dead Space, Deus Ex, Diablo.
World of Warcraft, Portal, God of War,
Team Fortress 2, Grand Theft Auto.

Left4Dead, Dead Space (accidental repeat), Assassin’s Creed,
Red Dead Redemption, Ico, Demon’s Souls,
Minecraft, The Witcher, The Last of Us,
Horizon Zero Dawn, Bloodbourne, Dark Souls.

The list of games goes on and on,
from puzzle solving to action & adventure.
Now, if you’ll please excuse me,
I’ve got a video game I need to get back to.

“Room 241”

Of all the rooms I’ve visited,
there is one you should avoid.
Room 241 of the human ward,
resides a horror that should be destroyed.

No one quite knows how it got there,
it’s like a child misbegotten.
But one thing we know is for certain:
all who enter are soon forgotten.

“DnD”

Dwarf, Elf, Barbarian,
Human, Gnome, Half-Orc.
Go ahead and say it,
call me a fucking dork.

See, I don’t care what you say,
this is the game for me.
It’s called Dungeons & Dragons,
and it’s my favorite tabletop RPG.

Go on a grand adventure,
seek out glory and fame.
Slay an ancient dragon,
let everyone remember your name.

Untold treasures await you,
in dungeons far and deep.
Maybe inside an ancient tomb,
or beneath a castle keep.

Beware of traps and monsters,
that lurk around every turn.
Make sure to bring enough rations,
and fuel for your torches to burn.

Will you be the dungeon master,
to guide the players & tell the story?
Or will you play a character,
to take part in all the glory?

Cast a spell, roll the dice,
make a saving throw.
Will you survive the battle?
Or to the Underworld will you go?

It may not be a video game,
and it may be hard to learn.
But it brings people together,
and isn’t that what we all yearn?

“M”

There’s a woman I know,
who has red hair.
She wears a white mask,
all the time, everywhere.

She’s got duct tape on her hands,
and blood on her nurse’s gown.
She’s my favorite reanimated girl,
in this sorry ass, weird town.

She’s married to a demigod,
who came from another dimension.
I sure would love to get rid of him,
but I’m a lover, not an assassin.

So for now I patiently wait,
and hope one day she will see.
That her and I should be together,
for forever and eternity.

“Metal”

Classical, pop, country,
EDM, dubstep, trap.
Some people may call that music,
but to me it’s all fucking crap.

Let me tell you about real music,
the kind that makes your ears bleed.
They call the genre metal,
and it’s the only music you’ll ever need.

Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer,
Gojira, Death, King Diamond.
Anthrax, Slipknot, Meshuggah,
Opeth, Kreator, Iron Maiden.

Motorhead, Tool, Nuclear Assault,
System of a Down, Sepultura.
Overkill, Prong, Alice in Chains,
Celtic Frost, Behemoth, Pantera.

Black Sabbath, AC/DC, Dio,
Lamb of God, Korn, Rob Zombie.
Testament, Exodus, Mastodon,
Danzig, Gwar, Arch Enemy.

Heavy, thrash, death, progressive,
there’s metal for everyone.
Now if you will please excuse me,
there’s still some moshing left to be done.

“Nutsack”

Nutsack, my nutsack,
how doth I love thee so.
Thou art my faithful companion,
no matter wherever I go.

Nutsack, my nutsack,
never a day passes by.
When thou art there to make sure
my nuts stay secure and dry.

Nutsack, my nutsack,
whenever I doth squeeze thee,
thou maketh the finest crinkly sound,
and helpeth me to rest easy.

Nutsack, my nutsack,
how doth I only love you.
For as long as thou art with me,
to thee I shall always stay true.

© Copyright Copyleft Copyup Copydown Copysideways Copyfrontways Copybackways 2019 to the end of time, Iggy Manley, Ephemeral Rift

The Dystopian Story behind The Everything Man, The Candy Man, The Snack Man, etc.

In a dystopian future, the governments of the world joined together to form a united coalition in an effort to gain ultimate control over their citizens and to steer society towards the coalition’s vision of a utopian society. This new “united front” knew that in order to achieve this, they would have to weaken their people by slowly depriving them of their freedoms and comforts over the years to come.

Their first initiative was to put a global ban on the manufacture, sale and consumption of sugar and any man-made products containing sugar, from sugar cane to high fructose corn syrup. This meant that items such as ice cream, soda pop, chocolate milk, and candy bars were now illegal. This led to candy stores being forced to shut down. Restaurants were no longer permitted to offer sweetened salad dressings, desserts or sweet side dishes such as candied yams. Fast food restaurants were no longer permitted to offer fountain drinks, ketchup or any kind of sweet sauce on their burgers. Supermarkets were no longer allowed to sell any product whatsoever containing sugar of any kind. And worst of all, the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory was permanently shut down, and all of the Oompah Loompas were displaced, imprisoned, became refugees or went back to Loompaland.

Knowing such a global policy would undoubtedly lead to riots in the streets and civil unrest, a new global law enforcement agency was simultaneously created and martial law was put into effect. Hidden behind mirrored face shields, wearing polyethylene body armor, and able to use lethal force at the slightest provocation, this new breed of intimidating officer policed every street corner around the clock, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It made Judge Dredd look like Sheriff Woody.

As the days turned to months, and the months to years, the people became accustomed to living without such simple pleasures that they once enjoyed. As one would imagine, it didn’t take long for sugar to become the most highly sought after item on the black market. Because of this, checkpoints were setup to indiscriminately search anyone at any time for potentially carrying sugar-based products either to consume or distribute. This of course led to abuse of power among many of the officers. Many children and adults were wrongfully imprisoned just by giving the searching officers the wrong look, refusing to cooperate, or responding in a less-than-pleasant manner.

As predicted, riots did take place and many government offices were burned to the ground. What started out as angry protesters, turned to violent mobs and eventually guerrilla tactics were employed by the disgruntled, and even gruntled, citizens. The united governments of the world with their new law enforcement agency responded, and for a few years there was nothing but chaos and violence on every street across the globe. But as the ban on sugar continued to be upheld, as the united coalition remained steadfast and lessened its contact with the citizens of the world, the people were eventually overpowered, weakened, and reluctantly gave up their struggle. They became subdued, complacent sheep. Exactly how the united coalition envisioned.

Knowing how unjust this new world had become, one particular individual took matters into his own hands. He scoured the world for outlawed sweets and even began to manufacture his own. He then arranged secret meetings at undisclosed locations with those citizens who were willing to risk their lives to acquire the confections they desired. This purveyor of sweet hope and joy became known among the people as: The Candy Man.

Soon, other governments and ruling classes across the universe began to take notice of the events that transpired on earth and they too began to follow suit by enforcing their own bans on sugar. Hearing this, The Candy Man then took it upon himself to travel through the rifts and bring his sweets to the deprived multitudes of far distant planets.

A decade went by, and that is when the second ban went into effect: the outlaw of snacks. Potato chips. Cheese curls. Tortilla chips. Crackers. Any snack you can think of was banned. This gave rise to another individual known as The Snack Man, who was a clone of The Candy Man. This time, however, with the citizens having become completely subservient to their masters, there were no riots. Just reluctance and acceptance. With less resistance from their citizens, it took even less time to institute and enforce bans on such things as cheese and beverages.

Over a century passed and the human race was reduced to a slave society. All of their once beloved freedoms, traditions, pleasures and comforts have been stripped away. The sole global government agency now has complete control and domination over the earth’s populace. No one even knows anymore who or what is in charge, since the only contact with any government official of any kind are the officers that enforce the laws and continue to patrol the streets, which are now empty due to everyone being sanctioned to live in organized districts behind 20 foot high walls topped with barbed wired and patrolled by armed guards and robotic sentries.

And just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, the one global governing body took the banning initiative to an all new extreme level, enforcing the ultimate ban.

And that brings us to present day, and the story that will unfold in this video with your visit with The Everything Man.