The Peaceful, Oft-Misunderstood Anarchist, Atheist, Misanthrope, and Nihilist

[Revised 11/20/2023]

Before we get into it, allow me to share a little misanthropic piece I wrote a few days prior to this post, which I wanted to turn into something bigger, but since that will most likely never happen (I don’t really have the drive to write poems & lyrics anymore like I once used to decades ago), for now, here it is in its unfinished, unrefined form:

“I do not hate you out of jealousy,
for there is nothing about you which I envy.
I don’t hate you because I’m looking in a mirror,
on the contrary my vision’s never been clearer.
I hate you for all of the purest of reasons.
I hate you throughout each of the four seasons.
I hate you in the morning, and I hate you at night.
I hate you objectively, not out of personal spite.
So let us not dance around the subject any further,
let me explain why you’re the root cause of my furor.”
(this is the point in the lyric where I was supposed to start talking about factory farming, government, greed, ignorance, bigotry, extremism, capitalism, narcissism, human and animal genocide, fake people pretending they give a shit when in all actuality they don’t, philanthropy, organized crime, and the thousands of other things wrong with society and our species)

Alright, let’s get to the point of this post: why am I writing this? Not just to give you an insight into someone like myself who is part anarchist, atheist, misanthrope, and nihilist, but more importantly: to reach anyone who may feel misunderstood, alone, alienated, etc., for having or speaking their thoughts which are just that: thoughts. Thoughts, which a certain percentage of people in society think are “unhealthy”. Which is quite hypocritical when you think about it. For if society is anything, it itself is unhealthy with all of its litter, trash, landfills, factory farming, chemical spills, mining, oil drilling, fracking, plastic & microplastics, streets, cities, highways, farms, agriculture, light & noise pollution, dams, rape, violence, domestic abuse, corruption, political favors, gangs, organized crime, etc., etc., ad-nausea. And who exactly gets to decide what “unhealthy” thoughts are in the first place? Some imbecilic, insignificant, self-centered species that walks upright? If you have a thought, you have a thought. And how are thoughts formed? From external stimuli. So maybe if society itself wasn’t unhealthy to begin with, then the intelligent, often sensitive and emotional individual would have no “unhealthy” thoughts themselves. Trash in, trash out. Really. What, do you expect sapient, sentient people to do, just ignore all the bullshit that goes on in society and remain quiet because it bothers people and challenges the mainstream and status-quo? Not gonna happen. It’s not their fault they have intelligence and emotions.

For some reason, a certain percentage of people think that because one thinks differently than the herd, because one thinks that the human race should be wiped off the face of the earth (for example), because one thinks life is meaningless and therefore its up to the individual to make it meaningful or end their life if they so desire, that one thinks we should live without government, religion and capitalism, that it’s somehow “unhealthy”, you are “depressed”, you “need help”, you’re “crazy”, “dangerous”, etc., when often times it’s far from the truth. Many intelligent, emotionally stable, rational, reasonable, peaceful people have anarchistic, atheistic, misanthropic, nihilistic, etc., thoughts for legitimate and valid reasons brought on by what they see, witness, and often experience firsthand in society. And these people don’t ever plan on taking action on those thoughts by turning into homicidal or genocidal maniacs. As I mentioned, if someone wants to kill themselves for any reason, rational or irrational, that’s their choice. I do not condone it, but there are a myriad of reasons as to one might take their own life and sometimes there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them. And just because I’m misanthropic and think our species is the worst thing to ever happen to this planet doesn’t mean I’m saying that people should kill themselves. Not at all. On the contrary, I wish we could all could live happy, meaningful, and fulfilling lives without capitalism, government, and religion, just to name a few. Many of us wish to live in peace and unity in a utopian world where there is no factory farming, no raping of earth’s resources, no war, true community and cooperation, etc. But I just don’t see that ever happening, at least not in my lifetime.

It’s not always fun being an intelligent, emotional creature. It’s often a burden and a cause of inner turmoil.

As the title indicates, I am a peaceful, non-violent person, perhaps even a pacifist, though I would have no qualms in resorting to forceful action should the need arise in a self-defense scenario, that is, if the situation could not be resolved peacefully. As much as I am an anarchist, atheist, misanthrope, and nihilist, it doesn’t mean I wish people dead or plan to turn into a mass shooter. I, along with many others, believe that with 8 billion of us on the planet and counting, that we’ve become the worst species to ever exist, and something needs to be done. And I don’t mean mass genocide or global suicide. How would you even go about doing that? It’s kind of insane and preposterous to begin thinking about the logistics of that. But perhaps some kind of catastrophic natural event, like an asteroid or the next extinction event, that either wipes us off the planet or reduces our numbers. Because as of now and going forward, we are a strain on the planet and its resources, especially the approximate 250 million livestock animals killed every single day that about 90% of the global population eats. We’re pretty much a blight and a plague that needs to be dealt with. With all that said, I’m not going to kill myself nor do I expect anyone else to. These are just thoughts and words, that’s all. Thoughts, that many others have, perhaps including you, dear reader.

Let me put it plainly (I’ve been wanting to say that for awhile): I am 52 years old, able-bodied (though I lost my hearing in my left ear starting in 2009), have a loving wife and son (am an equally loving husband and father), make a decent amount of money, live in a decent area, own a home, have no debt, have great credit (near the 800’s last I checked), have a 2012 car that runs good and is paid off, work from home and no longer commute, no longer smoke moderately (since ~2005), no longer drink moderately (will be 2 years alcohol free as of January 2024), no longer smoke cannabis on occasion (since ~2005) or any drugs including prescription, and based on my 2023 annual physical exam my cholesterol and sugar are elevated but not quite to the point where I need medication. So why then would I ever be an atheist, anarchist, misanthrope, and nihilist? I should be bowing down and worshiping at the altar of capitalism! I should happy as a pig in shit! I should be screaming “Yes!!! Money!!!! More, more!!!!”. But I’m not. Why? Well, there are a few valid reasons for that.

First and foremost, life in today’s “modern” and “advanced” society is unfulfilling. I’ve had almost 20 different jobs throughout my life, including my “career” on YouTube that turned into a full time job starting around 2016. I’ve made more and more money all throughout my life (I’m no millionaire though, and I never want to be; on the contrary, I want to make less money) yet none of them have been 100% completely satisfying. Are they fun? Okay, sure. Have they been easy? Yes, every job I’ve ever worked has been “easy”, including lifting heavy boxes when I was 16-20 working for various retail stores in order to stock their shelves with merchandise. But none of it, including my current YouTube “career” is 100% completely satisfying. I am still a slave to capitalism and government. We don’t have 100% complete agency, autonomy, and control over our own lives. We don’t get to wake up and hunt, fish, and forage for our own food whenever we feel like it. We don’t get to craft and maintain our own tools, maintain our dwelling, have plenty of time for leisure, have true community within our tribe, all the while living a pure and authentic, natural life as a primitive/indigenous hunter-gatherer people/society. Instead, we do these mind-numbing, dead-end, intelligence-blunting jobs to make money for the CEO’s and shareholders, to pay for rent, and especially to buy food from companies and corporations who own all the food and who get to decide what food is available for us to purchase and at what price. It’s all such a bullshit, unnatural existence to be born into.

One reason that I consider myself part anarchist, atheist, misanthrope and nihilist is that, like you and most everyone else, I have intelligence, am a thinker, and could be considered an intellectual, though I don’t want to come off sounding like an egotistical, pretentious snob, which I’m not. Those are just the facts. Almost everyone has intelligence, except for those with learning disabilities. And almost anyone has the capacity to be an intellectual. All one needs to do is stop and think. Don’t let emotions and personal bias get in the way. Think. Question. Research. Look at things from different angles and perspectives. Perform some basic analysis. Problem solve. Be creative, especially when problem solving. Use reason and logic. Perhaps more importantly: be confident in oneself to not go along with the herd. If I didn’t have intelligence or wasn’t an intellectual then my YouTube channel wouldn’t contain the large amount of original, creative, thought provoking content that it does. Nor would these various posts on my website (which I setup myself) exist. I wouldn’t have built my first computer in my 30’s, or at 40 years old learn all about audio and video recording in order to make YouTube videos. Like you and every other human on the planet that’s ever existed and will ever exist, I have a brain and I enjoy trying to use it to its fullest capacity as much as possible, especially when it comes to thinking. Does this make me better than anyone else? No. There are plenty of people in the world like me, perhaps even you. You don’t have to have a website, run a YouTube channel, have a college degree, be an artist or writer, spit out 1,000 facts, have read hundreds of books, etc., to be intelligent or an intellectual. Hell, you don’t even need to exercise intelligence to know that we should most likely be living naturally like our primitive/indigenous hunter-gatherer ancestors once did, and how the Uncontacted Peoples are living today right alongside us.

In addition, I have always “zoned out”, daydreamed, and got lost in my thoughts ever since I was a kid. One could say I might have Dissociative Identity Disorder, especially based on the fact that I perform as many different characters in my videos on my YouTube channel, but they would be wrong. I do not have any personalities which have names and the like, and more importantly: I am always aware and in control of what I’m doing. So if I were ever to become a serial killer (which will never happen), pleading insanity would never work for me. I am a thinker. A critical thinker at that. I enjoy philosophy. I enjoy sitting on the couch with the TV off or going for walks and just… thinking. It’s pleasant to me. It’s better than drinking alcohol, watching sports, playing video games, or listening to music. While I primarily identify with being an anarchist, atheist, misanthrope, and nihilist, there are other schools of thought and philosophies that I also identify with such as stoicism, for one example. I used to be much more emotionally volatile, but as I’ve gotten older, especially since my 30’s, I’ve become more stoic: more centered, balanced, even keeled, and have always had a strong draw to and connection with nature ever since I was a kid.

One of the other reasons for my interest or identifying with being a misanthropist and nihilist (not so much anarchist and atheist) is that it may be related to depression brought on by genetics, as there is someone in my lineage that was abusive (not to me). However, I am not “depressed” in the sense that I want to sleep all the time, want to die, am toxic to live with, or have feelings of self-loathing and such. Quite the contrary! I am a blast to be around. I love goofing around and having a good time. Yes, I am also cynical and skeptical, and I have been known to take things too far for humor’s sake, especially when being sarcastic and employing dark humor. But I’m also a cynical optimist, meaning: expect the worst but hope for the best, and not at all a pessimist or “Debbie Downer”. And if you were to interview anyone in my family, especially my wife and son, they would tell you how much I care for them and their health. I often harp about watching sugar, fat, eating healthy, avoid being scammed, etc. So while I may suffer from genetic depression, and while the lack of patience still curses me (unless I’m fixated on doing something), and while I used to have problems with controlling my anger but no longer do, I am not a soul-sucking, abusive, emotional vampire that people dread being around. Who knows, I could easily fall into a dark and deep depression one day as I get older due to any number of reasons. But for now, whatever depression I may have, I have learned to starve it by keeping it locked up in the metaphorical basement. Lastly, while I may have genetic depression, it is not the root cause of why I consider myself a misanthrope and nihilist. I don’t think humans are the worst species on the planet because I’m simply “depressed”, “want to die”, feel alone or alienated (which I don’t feel), etc. I don’t think life is meaningless and that there is no point to any of this because I’m “depressed”, “want to die”, feel alone, etc. Rather, quite the contrary.

I am an anarchist, (agnostic) atheist, misanthrope, and nihilist (among other schools of thought) for all the purest of reasons.

I am a nihilist because nihilism is the truth. Nihilism is the objective truth of existence. I suppose I have to say “in my opinion”, but I like to think that I’m right and that there is no god, this isn’t a simulation, nor is this a dream. And that truth is the fact that there is no meaning to any of this, so it is up to the individual to make it meaningful, if one so desires. And if one so chooses, they can remove themselves from this life, though I wouldn’t recommend it, unless they are suffering with such a debilitating illness that it prevents them from enjoying and living a fulfilling, satisfying and healthy life. We are born without consent, we grow, we eat, we do things, career this, parenting that, and so on and so forth, until we eventually and inevitably die, whether of old age, war, disease, a tragic accident, or self-inflicted. And when we die, that’s it. Total cessation of consciousness. No afterlife. No ghosts. No heaven or hell. No being reborn. We are no different than the countless multitude of organisms that have ever existed and will ever exist on this planet. Nihilism gives me perspective. Nihilism gives me strength. Nihilism gives me comfort. Nihilism provides me with the only answer I ever needed, and therefore I live for today, plan and prepare for the “future” the best that I can, and live without fear of dying or any man-made eternal punishment or nirvana nonsense. This is it. This is the one and only shot at life I will ever experience. In the end, we are all insignificant grains of sand on a beach in the vast and infinite universe. And I’ve never been happier and at peace knowing this.

I am an anarchist (mostly in mindset; little bit in practice) because I believe peak human society was when we lived as primitive anarchist hunter-gatherers. There was no government, no capitalism, no churches or synagogues, no roads, no factories, no factory farms, no agriculture, no pollution, no smog, no traffic, no noise pollution, no chemical spills, no plastic, no commercial fishing, no dams, none of it. We lived a pure life in a pure world that was as natural as it ever would be. We were born, lived, died, and melted back into the earth (i.e. no coffins and tombstones) with minimal environmental impact. Then we learned how to make fire, tools and agriculture, and that was the beginning of the end, maybe not for our species at least not just yet, but for many other life forms on this planet, including the earth itself. Anarchism, and being an anarchist, may be a pipedream for most of us who harken for an anarchist society, but at least it exists in theory and in books so that we can use it to cope. Cope with a society that is 100% bullshit in practically every way imaginable. I am not an anarchist because I want chaos and disorder. Again, quite the contrary! I am an anarchist for all of the right and pure reasons for which anarchism exists as written by the great anarchist writers such as Emma Goldman, Alexander Berkman, and many others including modern anarchists such as John Zerzan.

I am a misanthrope because humanity is without a shadow of a doubt a scourge, plague, disease, cancer, parasite, blight, infection, you-name-it, to the planet and all of its life, including humanity itself. Again, as I stated above, we should have never left the jungle. We should have remained as primitive primates and never evolved. Ever since our evolution we have learned to rape and destroy the planet and its life, including each other. The best thing that could ever happen to this planet is for another extinction event that wipes humanity out, or reduces humanity to a very small population, and restores this world to a natural, healthy state, just like it existed for millions of years prior to our evolution and since the last extinction event. I am not a misanthrope because I feel inferior, inadequate, jealous, am self-loathing, lack self-esteem, lack self-worth and self-love, and any other misconception and prejudice some people often have about misanthropes. I am a misanthrope for all of the right and purest of reasons: we humans are the single worst thing that ever happened to this planet.

Wikipedia says “Misanthropy involves a negative evaluative attitude”, which I disagree with. In my humble opinion, Misanthropy is an objective view, and it is the objective truth that humans cause more harm than good. I have listed only a few examples above in this article and could list many more: child abuse, pedophilia, rape, fights, slavery, prison, scams, bullying, hazing, religious crusades, terrorism, and on and on I could go. Sure, humans are capable of love, compassion, caring, invention, ideas, art, music, food, books, tools, etc., but the harm they do far outweighs any good. So being misanthropic isn’t about focusing on the negative while ignoring the positives, it’s knowing the truth about humanity: we are insignificant animals just like any other organism on this planet, yet are far more harmful and destructive to life and the planet than any natural disaster or plague of locusts could ever be.

I am an agnostic atheist (raised Roman Catholic for the first 18 years of my life but left it all behind) because I’m 99.99% confident god does not exist. I say 99.99% because there is always the slight possibility some kind of god exists (thus the agnostic part), but not the manmade Christian or Muslim gods. That’s why I’m agnostic atheist because it would be arrogant to say god doesn’t exist, just like it’s arrogant to say god does exist. We don’t know, and we won’t ever know everything about existence and the universe, including whether or not any god exists. We didn’t create the universe. So there’s the slight possibility some kind of god made the universe a long time ago and has moved on to somewhere else in the universe or to another plane of existence altogether. Or god no longer exists itself. Who knows! It’s possible this is all a simulation, though that’s kind of a stretch. So like nihilism, atheism gives me comfort and peace of mind knowing that this life is all I have, so I try to enjoy it and make the best of it knowing there is no afterlife. I get to live as free as I want (well as much as one can within the confines of society with its government and capitalism), I get to decide what philosophy I want to live by which I can change at any time I so choose, all without fear of being judged in a fictional afterlife by an equally fictional manmade god.

Many of us anarchists, atheists, misanthropes, and nihilists are intelligent, peaceful, fun loving folk that see the world for what it is and try to live the best we can, using anarchism, atheism, misanthropy, and nihilism, as well as any other theory, philosophy, view, etc., as tools to cope with and make sense of this completely meaningless, absurd life in this equally parasitic, cancerous human society.

Thanks for reading, and may all of your nows be splentastic or better until the next extinction event wipes us out and resets the earth back to its natural state or diminishes our population to a more feasible and healthier number ;)
Paul aka Ephemeral Rift