The Poetry of Iggy Manley

Below are the “poems” (minus the poem “Meat”) from the “The Poetry of Iggy Manley” video. I just had fun whipping up these lyrics the day before creating the video. I used to dabble and have fun writing terrible amateur poetry / song lyrics like this from when I was a teen and up until my 30’s. If you are new to my website: Iggy Manley is one of the characters I have created on my YouTube channel.

“Bitch, You a Clown”

You think you’re a man,
chasing money and fame?
You’re so pathetic,
you give little girls a bad name.

You wouldn’t know a man,
if his junk slapped you in your face.
You’re just an insecure boy,
wishing a man were in your place.

The only real man here,
is the one dropping these phat rhymes.
So pay strict attention,
like Carl listening to Rick Grimes.

Real men don’t brag.
Real men don’t boast.
Real men like fruit topping
on top of their french toast.

Real men don’t take selfies,
to post on social media.
Real men use their brains,
like when reading the encyclopedia.

Real men don’t respect,
every person that they meet.
Real men only respect,
persons that eat meat.

Real men don’t own & drive,
fast, expensive cars.
Real men don’t get belligerent or drunk,
at sports events, strip clubs and bars.

I could go on and on,
but boy, you just ain’t worth my time.
So let me finish up,
with this one final sick rhyme:

Bitch, you a clown,
in a circus sideshow.
All you’re good for is a laugh.
You ain’t anyone worth getting to know.

“Arkham Sanitarium”

I know a sick ass place,
that’s far away from here.
Where the doctors and the nurses,
will make all your worries disappear.

This place cannot be reached,
by air, land or sea.
It is not on any map.
And it’s not for all to see.

It’s a truly amazing place,
where all of time stands still.
Where anxiety & stress melt away,
without ever having to take a pill.

It’s a living, sentient creature,
I know that’s hard to believe.
Just be warned before you enter,
for once you do you’ll never leave.

It’s called Arkham Sanitarium
for Mental Rehabilitation.
It’s the place that you’ll call home.
It’s your final destination.

“Video Games Rule”

Video games rule.
They’re awesome and great.
And anyone who disagrees
can get eaten by a creepy clown living under a sewer grate.

Video games are the best.
Of this you can be sure.
Because there’s nothing in the world
that people would rather do more.

Than to play video games,
every second of every day.
At home, at school, at work,
even take them to their graves.

Pong, Zork, Space Invaders,
Asteroids, Missile Command.
Joust, Galaga, Donkey Kong,
Defender, Pitfall, Pac-Man.

Gauntlet, Super Mario Brothers,
Double Dragon, Tetris, Contra.
Bubble Bobble, Mike Tyson’s Punch Out,
Ms. Pac-Man, The Legend of Zelda.

Prince of Persia, Day of the Tentacle,
Another World, Wolfenstein 3D.
The Secret of Monkey Island,
Wasteland, Duke Nukem 3D.

Doom, Quake, Resident Evil,
Tomb Raider, Fallout, Half-Life.
Thief, Starcraft, System Shock,
Baldur’s Gate, Counter-Strike.

Skyrim, Bioshock, Call of Duty,
Dead Space, Deus Ex, Diablo.
World of Warcraft, Portal, God of War,
Team Fortress 2, Grand Theft Auto.

Left4Dead, Dead Space (accidental repeat), Assassin’s Creed,
Red Dead Redemption, Ico, Demon’s Souls,
Minecraft, The Witcher, The Last of Us,
Horizon Zero Dawn, Bloodbourne, Dark Souls.

The list of games goes on and on,
from puzzle solving to action & adventure.
Now, if you’ll please excuse me,
I’ve got a video game I need to get back to.

“Room 241”

Of all the rooms I’ve visited,
there is one you should avoid.
Room 241 of the human ward,
resides a horror that should be destroyed.

No one quite knows how it got there,
it’s like a child misbegotten.
But one thing we know is for certain:
all who enter are soon forgotten.

“DnD”

Dwarf, Elf, Barbarian,
Human, Gnome, Half-Orc.
Go ahead and say it,
call me a fucking dork.

See, I don’t care what you say,
this is the game for me.
It’s called Dungeons & Dragons,
and it’s my favorite tabletop RPG.

Go on a grand adventure,
seek out glory and fame.
Slay an ancient dragon,
let everyone remember your name.

Untold treasures await you,
in dungeons far and deep.
Maybe inside an ancient tomb,
or beneath a castle keep.

Beware of traps and monsters,
that lurk around every turn.
Make sure to bring enough rations,
and fuel for your torches to burn.

Will you be the dungeon master,
to guide the players & tell the story?
Or will you play a character,
to take part in all the glory?

Cast a spell, roll the dice,
make a saving throw.
Will you survive the battle?
Or to the Underworld will you go?

It may not be a video game,
and it may be hard to learn.
But it brings people together,
and isn’t that what we all yearn?

“M”

There’s a woman I know,
who has red hair.
She wears a white mask,
all the time, everywhere.

She’s got duct tape on her hands,
and blood on her nurse’s gown.
She’s my favorite reanimated girl,
in this sorry ass, weird town.

She’s married to a demigod,
who came from another dimension.
I sure would love to get rid of him,
but I’m a lover, not an assassin.

So for now I patiently wait,
and hope one day she will see.
That her and I should be together,
for forever and eternity.

“Metal”

Classical, pop, country,
EDM, dubstep, trap.
Some people may call that music,
but to me it’s all fucking crap.

Let me tell you about real music,
the kind that makes your ears bleed.
They call the genre metal,
and it’s the only music you’ll ever need.

Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer,
Gojira, Death, King Diamond.
Anthrax, Slipknot, Meshuggah,
Opeth, Kreator, Iron Maiden.

Motorhead, Tool, Nuclear Assault,
System of a Down, Sepultura.
Overkill, Prong, Alice in Chains,
Celtic Frost, Behemoth, Pantera.

Black Sabbath, AC/DC, Dio,
Lamb of God, Korn, Rob Zombie.
Testament, Exodus, Mastodon,
Danzig, Gwar, Arch Enemy.

Heavy, thrash, death, progressive,
there’s metal for everyone.
Now if you will please excuse me,
there’s still some moshing left to be done.

“Nutsack”

Nutsack, my nutsack,
how doth I love thee so.
Thou art my faithful companion,
no matter wherever I go.

Nutsack, my nutsack,
never a day passes by.
When thou art there to make sure
my nuts stay secure and dry.

Nutsack, my nutsack,
whenever I doth squeeze thee,
thou maketh the finest crinkly sound,
and helpeth me to rest easy.

Nutsack, my nutsack,
how doth I only love you.
For as long as thou art with me,
to thee I shall always stay true.

© Copyright Copyleft Copyup Copydown Copysideways Copyfrontways Copybackways 2019 to the end of time, Iggy Manley, Ephemeral Rift


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