Once upon a time, back in October 2018, I was sitting down for lunch eating my usual beef pot pie, or maybe it was chicken pot pie, I can’t remember exactly. I think I had water to drink along with it, although it may have been iced tea. I don’t know if I also had a snack or a treat. I like to follow a meal with dessert of some kind, whether it’s fruit, a candy bar or a slice of chocolate cake. Anyway, somewhere in between my 7th and 8th bite of that scrumptious golden pastry filled with meat, veggies and gravy, all of a sudden I heard a loud ruckus occur out behind our house. At first I thought maybe it was Santa Claus, because the “all of a sudden loud ruckus” I usually hear is the old jolly elf landing on our roof with his reindeer. But I remembered that it’s not quite Christmas yet, even thought all the major retailers are starting to put out all the Christmas decorations for sale when we haven’t even gotten past Halloween yet.

I ran to the kitchen window, because running to the source of whatever is going on is usually a good thing. I mean, I could have walked to the kitchen window, but that would have shown I don’t really have that much interest vested into the current situation. So I opted to run. And run the whole 13 feet or so I did! I peered out the window which overlooks our backyard, and before we go any further, let me just tell you how much I love peering out of windows. I like to peer. A lot. I peer like 7 times a day. And I don’t discriminate between the types of windows that I peer out of. I don’t care what type of window it is, all that matters is whether I can peer out of it or not. I like to consider myself an Amateur Peerer working towards becoming a Master Peerer. I can dream, can’t I? After all, they always tell you never to lose sight of your dreams! Anyway, so as I was peering, I happened to notice a strange shiny metallic object buried in the yard with mounds of dirt pushed up around it. Immediately I knew that this was, without a doubt, a classic case of a UFO (in case you didn’t know that is an acronym for Unusually Fancy Object) crash landing on earth. I’ve watched a lot of TV specials about what happened out in Area 51 so I am very well informed on the whole “aliens visited earth” phenomenon and I knew how to handle the situation that I’ve never experienced before.

I exercised first, to limber up for the task ahead of me. Then I exercised some more, but this time the exercise that I exercised was what is commonly referred to as Extreme Caution. It is worth noting that caution should always be exercised in an extreme manner. I can’t imagine exercising caution any other way, like the Haphazard Caution that some people perform. I also did a gut check, gathered up my intestinal fortitude, took a deep breath, and emptied the dish washer. It was a chore that I don’t like doing and I forgot that it needed to get done. After that, I think I may have used the bathroom. Even though I was ready for the task at hand involving the UFO, I cannot deny that it still filled me with some anxiety and that always makes me have to go number one.

After I performed the necessary tasks required of my “responsible” “adult” life, I then went outside and, in an extremely cautious manner, approached the extraterrestrial mode of transportation. That is when I first laid eyes on the creature! Of course, being the modern human that I am, I took a dozen photos of it, of it its vehicle, and of course several selfies of me with the alien, with the alien and its ship, with the alien and me but with our house in the background, a couple of shots with trees in the background, and lastly some experimental shots from different angles trying to capture an artistic feel of the events that transpired. Then I believe I sent a text to my wife something along the lines of “OMG! An alien crashed in our backyard!” followed by an alien emoji and a shocked emoji, and then sent her one of the aforementioned pictures of me with the alien and pod to prove that it happened. Of course, her “LOL” text immediately accompanied by a crying emoji proved she didn’t believe me. She’s used to the videos that I make on my channel, so she probably assumed they were just props.

As I knelt down beside the alien, or Grey, I remained as still as possible. It’s a trick that many of us Highly Sensitive folks can do, breathing lightly and remaining motionless for many minutes in order for our senses to pick up whatever it is that we’re remaining motionless for, usually something that is moving and making sound. While I was not very familiar with alien anatomy, I know for a fact, thanks to various History channel specials, that they breathe just like us and their biology is not that much different than ours. As I remained as still as possible, I was able to notice the slight rise and fall of the Grey’s chest, and also heard some breathing sounds, both of which were a good indication that it was still alive. Thank Cthuhlu! There’s nothing worse than having to deal with a dead alien. I’ve seen the videos and it’s not pretty. It usually involves their family coming to take you away since they think you were the one who caused the alien’s demise. Aliens have a very complex tribunal system, and the lack of communication between human and alien usually means they end up locking you away for good, or you become one of their guinea pigs, or guinea humans I should say. In some instances, they have been known to express empathy and compassion and will return you to earth, but usually only after they have extracted as many biological samples from you as they can, including a chunk of your brain. You may return to your life less human than you were before, but hey, having less of a brain in today’s society is actually a good thing.

Upon discovering that the alien was in fact still alive, I nudged it a few times and prodded it with a stick, because that’s what you do with anything strange you’ve never encountered before that you aren’t quite sure whether it’s still alive. There was no immediate reaction. It was most likely unconscious. Knowing that the U.S. government spotted and tracked the UFO to its current crash site behind our house, I needed to think fast. My game plan was to keep the alien restrained in our shed until I could try and communicate with it. I also wanted to let it know that it was safe, give it some food and drink, and introduce it to earth and get it used to us and our customs. Then I would figure out how to prevent the government from taking it, just like they once took the alien in that classic documentary film titled E.T.

I first went back inside to grab some gloves so as not to have any direct contact with it. Who knows if it had microbes on its skin that carry a deadly virus, or maybe some kind of biological defense system where you might get electrocuted. Maybe they even have acid for blood. Once I returned to the Grey donning my leather gloves that I often used as ASMR props in my videos, I carefully picked it up and was somewhat shocked to feel how light they were. They are quite skinny, but most of the weight is in their large craniums. I moved it very carefully into the shed and then propped it up against one of the walls. I returned back inside the house to get the swivel office chair that I sit in to edit my videos, and the same one that I tied Corvus to in my Margaret Treats Corvus & You | ASMR video. I put that out in the shed, then put the alien on the chair, and restrained it with the same rope that I tied up Corvus with in that aforementioned Margaret video. Funny how things work like that: one minute you’re dressed up as Margaret, and have Barry the Dummy dressed up as Corvus, and you’re making an ASMR video, and the next thing you know an alien crashes into your backyard and you’re tying it up in your shed. The universe works in mysterious ways.

So that pretty much explains everything that took place prior to what occurrs in the following video: