Ephemeral Rift Podcast Episode 10 – Irreligions, Religions, Religious Parody & Satire

Intro: you don’t need (god, religion, faith, government, etc.) to be “good”; moral grey area, Ron Reagan FFRF.ORG TV ad; generalizing

Appetizers: listening to music loud, boredom & alone with your thoughts, cherry picking religions & philosophies, future videos like “Late Night ASMR”, super volcanoes & another ice age event, human evolution and dinosaurs, playing sports, hunter gatherers and leisure time

Main Course: Irreligions, Religions, Parody Religions (evolutionary origin, agnostic atheism, atheism, agnosticism, antireligion, free thought, naturalism, secular humanism, secularism, world religions, nontheistic religion, pantheism, native american religion, inuit religion, transtheism, post-theism, taoism, confucianism, buddhism, yoga, sikhism, christianity, islam, sufism, judaism, cargo cult, rastafari, wicca, entheogenic religions, new age, UFO religion, church of the fFlying spaghetti monster, church of subGenius, dinkoism, discordianism, jediim, kibology, kopimism, landover baptist church, last thursdayism, ‘pataphysics, silinism, sisters of perpetual united church of bacon, religious war, religious art, etc., etc.)

Dessert: Religious Satire (Brian Merriman, Bill Maher, George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Doug Stanhope, Lenny Bruce, Douglas Adams,  Richard Pryor, Monty Python, The Kids in the Hall, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Monty Python’s Life of Brian, Orgazmo, Dogma, Religulous, The Canterbury Tales, Letters from Earth, The Screwtape Letters, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Cahrist’s Childhood Pal, South Park, Family Guy, Boogyism, Flying Spaghetti Monster, Invisible Pink Unicorn, Church of the SubGenius, etc., etc.)

Podcast Links:
iTunes ► https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ephemeral-rift-podcast/id1559306449
Spotify ► https://open.spotify.com/show/0mRcmWpk4bwXG8786mUrPx
Amazon ► https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9dd88d03-5d74-41a7-8f34-68080e0400ef/Ephemeral-Rift-Podcast
Google ► https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9lcGhtZXJhbHJpZnRwb2RjYXN0LmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz
Libsyn ► https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/
RSS ► https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/rss

Ephemeral Rift Podcast #9 – Boredom

Intro: Common Courtesy

No Leftovers this week!

Appetizers: The many ways in which some viewners & listeners deal with boredom (sleep, video games, gym, biking, hiking, puzzles, miniature painting, chess, ASMR, shopping, talking with friends, staring at the crush’s texts, cleaning, music, fishing, drawing, sports, musical instruments, daydream, TV, tea, think, tending animals, eat, YouTube, gardening, word games, cooking, etc.

Main Course: Boredom

Dessert: Psycho Goreman; sobriety & comedies / entertainment

Podcast Links:
iTunes ► https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ephemeral-rift-podcast/id1559306449
Spotify ► https://open.spotify.com/show/0mRcmWpk4bwXG8786mUrPx
Amazon ► https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9dd88d03-5d74-41a7-8f34-68080e0400ef/Ephemeral-Rift-Podcast
Google ► https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9lcGhtZXJhbHJpZnRwb2RjYXN0LmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz
Libsyn ► https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/
RSS ► https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/rss

Ephemeral Rift Podcast Episode 8

Intro: boredom, The Tiers of Wellness

Leftovers: Death Grips, King Crimson, Young Thug, Opeth, Rap genre, Bones, Vaporware genre, WhiteWoods, Ayreon, Wilderun, Qantice, Tobu, Waterflame, Gunnar Olsen, Styx, AC/DC, Foo Fighters, Descendents, Code Orange, Snoop Dogg, D’Angelo, Music Scenes, Ariana Grande, Migos, Afrobeats, Alternative R&B, Reggae, Sauti Sol, Mereba, Lil Lk, Relient K, Najubes, Chance the Rapper, Chilly Gonzales, The Cinematic Orchestra, Heilung,

Appetizers: dealing with stress during difficult times, UFO’s and world governments’ acknowledgement, how to live life properly & information overload, college being forced as necessary, the answer to laughing during ASMR videos, Margaret, cryptocurrencies and NFT’s, rational vs emotional & the impact on society, what’s the point if life is meaningless, opinion on people who are religious, evolution without religion & if god’s hard-wired into us

Main Course: progressive school reform (mental health education, practical knowledge, smaller classes/more teachers, free education at all levels / no tuition / no student debt, etc., etc.); the creative cycle of consumption & creation

Dessert: documentary “Happy People: A Year in the Taiga” – ideal, self reliant, true freedom, no government, collective, community

Podcast Links:
iTunes ► https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ephemeral-rift-podcast/id1559306449
Spotify ► https://open.spotify.com/show/0mRcmWpk4bwXG8786mUrPx
Amazon ► https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9dd88d03-5d74-41a7-8f34-68080e0400ef/Ephemeral-Rift-Podcast
Google ► https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9lcGhtZXJhbHJpZnRwb2RjYXN0LmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz
Libsyn ► https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/
RSS ► https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/rss

Ephemeral Rift Podcast Episode 7

Intro: music as therapy

Leftovers: My smartphone screen time, Wikipedia, Bob not Ben

Appetizers: Ningen Isu, Nirvana, Black Sabbath, Primus, Daft Punk, Basshunter, Sonata Artica, Linkin Park, Ghost, Green Day, Apes of the State, Thank you Scientist, Rammstein, Oomph!, Megaherz, Eisbrecher, The Neighbourhood, Queen, Blackbriar, Portgual. The Man, Foster the People, The Shins, I Prevail, A Day To Remember, Bring Me The Horizon, Our Last Night, Falling In Reverse, Death Grips, Slayer, MF DOOM, Bach, Kaveret, Grandson, 80’s, Bossa Nova, Naked Eyes, The Alan Parsons Project, Michael Jackson, System of a Down, The Beatles, The Ink Spots, Eddie Meduza, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Vehemence, Dimmu Borgir, Mac Miller, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, Oasis, James Taylor, Jim Croce, Boston, Elton John, Stevie Wonder, Tom Petty, Hellyeah, Finntroll, In Flames, Igorrr, Gojira, Ott, Guns N Roses, Korpiklaani, Nick Shoulders, Shellac, Burial, Daughters, Akira Yamaoka, Swans, Devo, Pink Floyd, Black Flagg, The Police, Metallica, Allman Brothers Band, Eric Clapton, Slipknot, Wavves, Mgmt, Rise Against, Tool, Liquid Drum N Bass genre, Technical Death Metal, Progressive Metal, Goth Rock, Death Rock, Cold wave, Melodic Death Metal, David Bowie, Gorillaz, Led Zeppelin, The Doors, Bartok Bela, Car Bomb, Humanity’s Last Breath, Bring Me The Horizon, Annisokay, Three Days Grace, Shinedown, Puscifer, A Perfect Circle, White Zombie, Unleash the Archers, Flatbush Zombies, Freddie Dredd, Ice Nine Kills, Motionless In White, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, While She Sleeps, Home Free, The Great Divide, Younger Hunger, Fever the Ghost, 90’s Alternative, Soundgarden, Skillet, Stigmata, Avril Lavigne, Blink 182, Pantera, Muse, Avenged Sevenfold, Ayreon, Genesis, Dream Theater, 100 gecs, Cage the Elephant, Arctic Monkeys, Dschingis Khan, Lord of the Lost, Ensiferum, Hell Boulevard, Fleetwood Mac, Heart, Beach House, Jefferson Airplane, Motley Crue, Marilyn Manson, Korn, Witch House genre, Everything But the Girl, Blanco White, Inabakumori, Logic, Bon Iver, Christine and The Queens, Blur, Pulp, My Chemical Romance, Twenty One Pilots, Math Rock genre, Funk genre, Jazz genre, Enter Shikari, Psychedelic Rock genre, Alternative genre, Country genre, Sturgil Simpson, Death, The Notorious B.I.G., Explosions in the Sky, System of a Down, Etta James, The Taxpayers, Folk Punk genre, War Drums genre, Sticky Fingers, The Smashing Pumpkins, Incubus, Thrice, Seether, Mike Shinoda, Elvis Costello, Rush, Sting, Bob Dylan, Madeon, Snail’s House, Emil Rottmayer, Van Halen, Crosby Stills and Nash, Imagine Dragons, George Strait, Alan Jackson, Toby Keith, Helloween, D12, Kamelot, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Nightwish, Agalloch

Main Course: An introduction to Music and all of its styles

No Dessert this week! :(

Podcast Links:
iTunes ► https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ephemeral-rift-podcast/id1559306449
Spotify ► https://open.spotify.com/show/0mRcmWpk4bwXG8786mUrPx
Amazon ► https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9dd88d03-5d74-41a7-8f34-68080e0400ef/Ephemeral-Rift-Podcast
Google ► https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9lcGhtZXJhbHJpZnRwb2RjYXN0LmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz
Libsyn ► https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/
RSS ► https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/rsss

Ephemeral Rift Podcast Episode 6

Leftovers: attraction and the Netflix documentary My Love

Appetizers: music games anime religion paradoxes and other Main Course topics for future podcast episodes, why no discord channel, dreams and the brain relieving itself, vegan vegetarian and climate change, mars and alien experiments, shame guilt and living unapologetically, Palestine and Israel, psychedelics and ego death, internet phones local vs global and mental health

Main Course: Food and cuisines across the world

Dessert: independent sci-fi horror film Come True

I was a guest on the 8PL8S podcast here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1540201/8394416

Ephemeral Rift Podcast Episode 5

Leftovers: pay-per-view group battle even
Appetizers: high school and beyond, superficial society, Bill Hicks, Pink Floyd
Main Course: free thought & freethinking
Dessert: United Nations World Happiness Report 2021

Have a topic for the podcast? Submit it for consideration here: https://ephemeralrift.com/contact/

Podcast links:
iTunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ephemeral-rift-podcast/id1559306449
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0mRcmWpk4bwXG8786mUrP
Amazon https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9dd88d03-5d74-41a7-8f34-68080e0400ef/Ephemeral-Rift-Podcast
Google https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9lcGhtZXJhbHJpZnRwb2RjYXN0LmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz
Libsyn https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/
RSS https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/rss

Ephemeral Rift Podcast Episode 4

Once again we walk through the forest of the mind during this exercise in unfiltered freethinking:

Intro: anger as motivation Leftovers: individual histories and relationships; do personality opposites attract (i.e. the introvert & extrovert); meaning in a meaningless universe

Appetizers (viewner/listener topics): pros & cons of growing up today vs the past; the problems with political correctness, censorship, groups and groupthink; Math Rock

Main Course: anxiety & nightmares, dreams, sleepwalking, etc.; is everything cyclical

Dessert: The Walking Dead; The Midnight Diner

Have a topic for the podcast? Submit it for consideration here: https://ephemeralrift.com/contact/

Podcast links:
iTunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ephemeral-rift-podcast/id1559306449
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0mRcmWpk4bwXG8786mUrP
Amazon https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9dd88d03-5d74-41a7-8f34-68080e0400ef/Ephemeral-Rift-Podcast
Google https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9lcGhtZXJhbHJpZnRwb2RjYXN0LmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz
Libsyn https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/
RSS https://ephmeralriftpodcast.libsyn.com/rss

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to Making an ASMR Video about the Civil War

Most of the videos I make for my YouTube channel don’t often have any kind of interesting story behind the reason that they were made. Most. That is not the case for the video called “Relax with a Union Soldier | ASMR” for which this piece of writing is about. But this isn’t really so much about the video and how & why it came to be, than it is about how I came to have a newfound interest in the topic of the video at hand: the American Civil War, more specifically Ulysses S. Grant.

When I was a kid, I hated school for the most part. First off, I went to Roman Catholic school, so there was that. When it came to history though, I could have cared less about anything that was not relevant or important to my survival and growing up. Of course, that’s not how I thought of it back then when I was a kid, but today that pretty much sums up my lack of interest in history and social studies. Ugh. Social Studies

Fast forward to the date of this writing, and for the most part I still have zero interest in history. I like being a simple bipedal hominid: I like family, food, art, nature, games, tech and science (to a degree… i love/hate tech, and dislike almost everything about space exploration for certain reasons, but that’s another article). I do like certain aspects of history such as things revolving around aboriginal tribes, nature, and war. But beyond that.. I could really care less as to who was president, why the roman aqueducts were built, what the state capitals are, who invented whatever, etc. etc.

A few years ago someone commented on my YouTube channel that I should do a Civil War ASMR role-play. I thought that was a good idea, but at that time I wasn’t sure how to go about it, as is the case with most suggestions or even my own ideas. For whatever reason, some ideas just take time to develop and it has nothing to do with needing to be elaborate, well thought out, or spending money on a ton of props. I would continue to think about the Civil War idea off an on over the next few years until March of this year (2020) when all of a sudden my brain decided it was the right time to do the video (who am I to question my brain? It commands, I obey). So I did some research, purchased a variety of props (including civil war reproduction uniform and tent), and made the video.

But about a month prior to making the video, and the whole point of this piece of writing, is that sometime in April, the History Channel previewed a trailer for an upcoming mini-series about the civil war called “Grant”. My wife and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the coincidence: here I am preparing to do a video based on the Civil War, and the History channel is releasing a documentary about it. How apropos. Or is it synchronicity? It was as if the universe was telling me that I needed to watch the series before I could make my video on it (which even more coincidentally wasn’t ready to be filmed until after the series). Too funny.

So we watched the Grant mini series and it was spectacular! Very well produced and acted, sucked me in, and most importantly it had lots of tasty non-biased history morsels about Grant and the Civil War. Nothing appeared to be sugar-coated. And for the first time in my life I had an actual interest in both Ulysses S. Grant and the American Civil War. So much so that after the series was over I was pouring over Grant’s wikipedia entry and even looking for books about him. I have to give kudos to the History Channel. Event though they still produce a lot of dramatized, reality TV crap and are no longer purely history like they once were, I must congratulate them on this.

While watching the series I couldn’t help myself but to feel an overall sense of camaraderie or affinity with Grant as a person for various reasons:

  • His sense of humility / humble nature
  • He made mistakes (especially during the war and presidency) yet wasn’t too proud nor too stubborn to learn from them and try his best to fix them
  • He was a peaceful man (ironically)
  • He was sensitive and quiet as a child
  • He freed a slave that he somehow owned (I don’t want to be naive to think it he was purely out of sympathy / empathy as it could have been, but who really knows. He freed a slave, and that’s all that matters. If I learn anything about this in his memoirs, I will update this post)
  • He appointed Jewish people to federal office
  • He was sympathetic to women’s rights and female suffrage
  • He proposed a constitutional amendment that tried to ban religion in school (including atheism and paganism) and prohibit religious funding, but it was eventually defeated by the Senate.
  • He tried to destroy the KKK (was somewhat successful)
  • He had a Native American on his staff (Ely S. Parker, who also served in the war with Grant)
  • Tried his best to help the Native Americans with his Native American policy
  • And of course, he helped the Union win the Civil War (if you ask me, he was the sole reason the Union won. No Grant = No W in the Win Loss column)
  • He had a big heart

I never knew these things about Ulysses S. Grant and it was eye-opening to say the least. I knew I liked him for a reason. Well a dozen reasons, actually.

So there you have it. What started out to be just a simple, fun role-play of my portraying a union soldier during the civil war, turned out to be quite the unexpected educational experience.

Thanks to those who suggested the video idea, thanks to the History Channel’s mini series, and most importantly, thanks to everyone involved in the Civil War, because if the North had never won, would any of us, even YouTube itself, even be here?? How often do we take our freedom for… wait for it… Granted.

Now, if you’ll excuse me… I just received the paperback version of “The Complete Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant” which is something I never thought I would own, let alone have the desire to read. I am very excited to soak up everything Ulysses S. Grant wrote. And who knows… maybe one day, or in a few years, I will make my own video about him…

Thanks for reading and/or watching.

Best regards,
E.R.

The Poetry of Iggy Manley

Below are the “poems” (minus the poem “Meat”) from the “The Poetry of Iggy Manley” video. I just had fun whipping up these lyrics the day before creating the video. I used to dabble and have fun writing terrible amateur poetry / song lyrics like this from when I was a teen and up until my 30’s. If you are new to my website: Iggy Manley is one of the characters I have created on my YouTube channel.

“Bitch, You a Clown”

You think you’re a man,
chasing money and fame?
You’re so pathetic,
you give little girls a bad name.

You wouldn’t know a man,
if his junk slapped you in your face.
You’re just an insecure boy,
wishing a man were in your place.

The only real man here,
is the one dropping these phat rhymes.
So pay strict attention,
like Carl listening to Rick Grimes.

Real men don’t brag.
Real men don’t boast.
Real men like fruit topping
on top of their french toast.

Real men don’t take selfies,
to post on social media.
Real men use their brains,
like when reading the encyclopedia.

Real men don’t respect,
every person that they meet.
Real men only respect,
persons that eat meat.

Real men don’t own & drive,
fast, expensive cars.
Real men don’t get belligerent or drunk,
at sports events, strip clubs and bars.

I could go on and on,
but boy, you just ain’t worth my time.
So let me finish up,
with this one final sick rhyme:

Bitch, you a clown,
in a circus sideshow.
All you’re good for is a laugh.
You ain’t anyone worth getting to know.

“Arkham Sanitarium”

I know a sick ass place,
that’s far away from here.
Where the doctors and the nurses,
will make all your worries disappear.

This place cannot be reached,
by air, land or sea.
It is not on any map.
And it’s not for all to see.

It’s a truly amazing place,
where all of time stands still.
Where anxiety & stress melt away,
without ever having to take a pill.

It’s a living, sentient creature,
I know that’s hard to believe.
Just be warned before you enter,
for once you do you’ll never leave.

It’s called Arkham Sanitarium
for Mental Rehabilitation.
It’s the place that you’ll call home.
It’s your final destination.

“Video Games Rule”

Video games rule.
They’re awesome and great.
And anyone who disagrees
can get eaten by a creepy clown living under a sewer grate.

Video games are the best.
Of this you can be sure.
Because there’s nothing in the world
that people would rather do more.

Than to play video games,
every second of every day.
At home, at school, at work,
even take them to their graves.

Pong, Zork, Space Invaders,
Asteroids, Missile Command.
Joust, Galaga, Donkey Kong,
Defender, Pitfall, Pac-Man.

Gauntlet, Super Mario Brothers,
Double Dragon, Tetris, Contra.
Bubble Bobble, Mike Tyson’s Punch Out,
Ms. Pac-Man, The Legend of Zelda.

Prince of Persia, Day of the Tentacle,
Another World, Wolfenstein 3D.
The Secret of Monkey Island,
Wasteland, Duke Nukem 3D.

Doom, Quake, Resident Evil,
Tomb Raider, Fallout, Half-Life.
Thief, Starcraft, System Shock,
Baldur’s Gate, Counter-Strike.

Skyrim, Bioshock, Call of Duty,
Dead Space, Deus Ex, Diablo.
World of Warcraft, Portal, God of War,
Team Fortress 2, Grand Theft Auto.

Left4Dead, Dead Space (accidental repeat), Assassin’s Creed,
Red Dead Redemption, Ico, Demon’s Souls,
Minecraft, The Witcher, The Last of Us,
Horizon Zero Dawn, Bloodbourne, Dark Souls.

The list of games goes on and on,
from puzzle solving to action & adventure.
Now, if you’ll please excuse me,
I’ve got a video game I need to get back to.

“Room 241”

Of all the rooms I’ve visited,
there is one you should avoid.
Room 241 of the human ward,
resides a horror that should be destroyed.

No one quite knows how it got there,
it’s like a child misbegotten.
But one thing we know is for certain:
all who enter are soon forgotten.

“DnD”

Dwarf, Elf, Barbarian,
Human, Gnome, Half-Orc.
Go ahead and say it,
call me a fucking dork.

See, I don’t care what you say,
this is the game for me.
It’s called Dungeons & Dragons,
and it’s my favorite tabletop RPG.

Go on a grand adventure,
seek out glory and fame.
Slay an ancient dragon,
let everyone remember your name.

Untold treasures await you,
in dungeons far and deep.
Maybe inside an ancient tomb,
or beneath a castle keep.

Beware of traps and monsters,
that lurk around every turn.
Make sure to bring enough rations,
and fuel for your torches to burn.

Will you be the dungeon master,
to guide the players & tell the story?
Or will you play a character,
to take part in all the glory?

Cast a spell, roll the dice,
make a saving throw.
Will you survive the battle?
Or to the Underworld will you go?

It may not be a video game,
and it may be hard to learn.
But it brings people together,
and isn’t that what we all yearn?

“M”

There’s a woman I know,
who has red hair.
She wears a white mask,
all the time, everywhere.

She’s got duct tape on her hands,
and blood on her nurse’s gown.
She’s my favorite reanimated girl,
in this sorry ass, weird town.

She’s married to a demigod,
who came from another dimension.
I sure would love to get rid of him,
but I’m a lover, not an assassin.

So for now I patiently wait,
and hope one day she will see.
That her and I should be together,
for forever and eternity.

“Metal”

Classical, pop, country,
EDM, dubstep, trap.
Some people may call that music,
but to me it’s all fucking crap.

Let me tell you about real music,
the kind that makes your ears bleed.
They call the genre metal,
and it’s the only music you’ll ever need.

Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer,
Gojira, Death, King Diamond.
Anthrax, Slipknot, Meshuggah,
Opeth, Kreator, Iron Maiden.

Motorhead, Tool, Nuclear Assault,
System of a Down, Sepultura.
Overkill, Prong, Alice in Chains,
Celtic Frost, Behemoth, Pantera.

Black Sabbath, AC/DC, Dio,
Lamb of God, Korn, Rob Zombie.
Testament, Exodus, Mastodon,
Danzig, Gwar, Arch Enemy.

Heavy, thrash, death, progressive,
there’s metal for everyone.
Now if you will please excuse me,
there’s still some moshing left to be done.

“Nutsack”

Nutsack, my nutsack,
how doth I love thee so.
Thou art my faithful companion,
no matter wherever I go.

Nutsack, my nutsack,
never a day passes by.
When thou art there to make sure
my nuts stay secure and dry.

Nutsack, my nutsack,
whenever I doth squeeze thee,
thou maketh the finest crinkly sound,
and helpeth me to rest easy.

Nutsack, my nutsack,
how doth I only love you.
For as long as thou art with me,
to thee I shall always stay true.

© Copyright Copyleft Copyup Copydown Copysideways Copyfrontways Copybackways 2019 to the end of time, Iggy Manley, Ephemeral Rift

The Dystopian Story behind The Everything Man, The Candy Man, The Snack Man, etc.

In a dystopian future, the governments of the world joined together to form a united coalition in an effort to gain ultimate control over their citizens and to steer society towards the coalition’s vision of a utopian society. This new “united front” knew that in order to achieve this, they would have to weaken their people by slowly depriving them of their freedoms and comforts over the years to come.

Their first initiative was to put a global ban on the manufacture, sale and consumption of sugar and any man-made products containing sugar, from sugar cane to high fructose corn syrup. This meant that items such as ice cream, soda pop, chocolate milk, and candy bars were now illegal. This led to candy stores being forced to shut down. Restaurants were no longer permitted to offer sweetened salad dressings, desserts or sweet side dishes such as candied yams. Fast food restaurants were no longer permitted to offer fountain drinks, ketchup or any kind of sweet sauce on their burgers. Supermarkets were no longer allowed to sell any product whatsoever containing sugar of any kind. And worst of all, the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory was permanently shut down, and all of the Oompah Loompas were displaced, imprisoned, became refugees or went back to Loompaland.

Knowing such a global policy would undoubtedly lead to riots in the streets and civil unrest, a new global law enforcement agency was simultaneously created and martial law was put into effect. Hidden behind mirrored face shields, wearing polyethylene body armor, and able to use lethal force at the slightest provocation, this new breed of intimidating officer policed every street corner around the clock, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It made Judge Dredd look like Sheriff Woody.

As the days turned to months, and the months to years, the people became accustomed to living without such simple pleasures that they once enjoyed. As one would imagine, it didn’t take long for sugar to become the most highly sought after item on the black market. Because of this, checkpoints were setup to indiscriminately search anyone at any time for potentially carrying sugar-based products either to consume or distribute. This of course led to abuse of power among many of the officers. Many children and adults were wrongfully imprisoned just by giving the searching officers the wrong look, refusing to cooperate, or responding in a less-than-pleasant manner.

As predicted, riots did take place and many government offices were burned to the ground. What started out as angry protesters, turned to violent mobs and eventually guerrilla tactics were employed by the disgruntled, and even gruntled, citizens. The united governments of the world with their new law enforcement agency responded, and for a few years there was nothing but chaos and violence on every street across the globe. But as the ban on sugar continued to be upheld, as the united coalition remained steadfast and lessened its contact with the citizens of the world, the people were eventually overpowered, weakened, and reluctantly gave up their struggle. They became subdued, complacent sheep. Exactly how the united coalition envisioned.

Knowing how unjust this new world had become, one particular individual took matters into his own hands. He scoured the world for outlawed sweets and even began to manufacture his own. He then arranged secret meetings at undisclosed locations with those citizens who were willing to risk their lives to acquire the confections they desired. This purveyor of sweet hope and joy became known among the people as: The Candy Man.

Soon, other governments and ruling classes across the universe began to take notice of the events that transpired on earth and they too began to follow suit by enforcing their own bans on sugar. Hearing this, The Candy Man then took it upon himself to travel through the rifts and bring his sweets to the deprived multitudes of far distant planets.

A decade went by, and that is when the second ban went into effect: the outlaw of snacks. Potato chips. Cheese curls. Tortilla chips. Crackers. Any snack you can think of was banned. This gave rise to another individual known as The Snack Man, who was a clone of The Candy Man. This time, however, with the citizens having become completely subservient to their masters, there were no riots. Just reluctance and acceptance. With less resistance from their citizens, it took even less time to institute and enforce bans on such things as cheese and beverages.

Over a century passed and the human race was reduced to a slave society. All of their once beloved freedoms, traditions, pleasures and comforts have been stripped away. The sole global government agency now has complete control and domination over the earth’s populace. No one even knows anymore who or what is in charge, since the only contact with any government official of any kind are the officers that enforce the laws and continue to patrol the streets, which are now empty due to everyone being sanctioned to live in organized districts behind 20 foot high walls topped with barbed wired and patrolled by armed guards and robotic sentries.

And just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, the one global governing body took the banning initiative to an all new extreme level, enforcing the ultimate ban.

And that brings us to present day, and the story that will unfold in this video with your visit with The Everything Man.