To the rape victim, the abused child or spouse, the teen bouncing from one foster home to another, the burn victim, those in the armed forces who lost their limbs, the family who lost a loved one to any one of numerous reasons (murder, cancer, suicide, etc.), and anyone else out there who has gone or currently is going through hell, you have my deepest sympathies. I hope you can heal, find peace, and happiness.
None of us asked to be here. None of us got to choose our parents, the home, or part of the world we end up in.
We’re brought into this world by two people who decided to fuck (or not, in the case of rape or incest), and then nine months (or earlier) here we are, planned or unplanned. After that, it’s a matter of what type of family you’re brought into. Stable, unstable? Wealthy, poor? First, third world? Do they treat you well for the most part to where you’re brought up in a normal, safe, and loving home, or is every day pure hell, but you’re too young and powerless to escape or do anything about it? Are you in a loving home, but get bullied in school?
Then we grow up, become adults, and you go into the military thinking it’s the best, only to end up losing a limb, or worse, and for what? Maybe you grew up just fine with a normal family life, then one day as an adult you’re walking down the street and get assaulted or attacked for no reason. Maybe you’re born with Down Syndrome, MS, or any other disability or disease, like The Butterfly Syndrome, that you never asked for. Maybe you’re a girl or woman in some part of the world, brainwashed and forced to wear a hijab and take part in all sorts of religious nonsense (and in case you didn’t know, I’m anti-religion, anti-theist, anti-dogma. I’m all for people believing in some wonderful, magical place when they die, but that’s where it should end).
Life isn’t fair. It never was, and it’s not meant to be. I know that might be cold and something people don’t want to hear, but it’s the truth. There’s a whole lot of luck involved in getting through this life healthy from one day to the next, not to mention living to an old age. For no reason whatsoever, some people just get the worst luck. It’s not “in the cards”. It’s not “fate”. It’s not anyone’s fault. It just is. That’s life.
And it especially isn’t the plan of any god. Because no so-called all loving, compassionate god would allow such a thing as rape or incest to happen, period. Absolutely not. If I were god, I would hardwire humans especially so they couldn’t do such horrible things. But I’m not, and there isn’t one. It’s just us, these evolved apes, vs the universe (minus any support one might have).
And while I’ve been through my share of personal torment (having survived Roman Catholic school, being bullied by my own white peers in my teens, passing a kidney stone, losing hearing in my left ear to a benign tumor called an Acoustic Neuroma, a broken bone, etc, etc.) these are trivial in comparison to the more deeply scarring and traumatizing things people have endured and experienced.
That’s all. I just wanted to come here and say this. I’ve had these thoughts on my mind throughout my life, especially as I’ve gotten older, and while I don’t walk around with a cross on my back, or have these thoughts always on my mind, I do have days where just like anyone else I too think about those who go through horrible shit, and feel bad, wishing I could do something. But I’m not driven to be a nurse or doctor like some folks. I never was. I can’t explain that. Why do some people feel driven to become a nurse and help complete strangers, who very well could be perpetrators? That’s the problem with today’s society. There’s too many of us interacting directly and often indirectly with people we don’t know. That’s not to say everyone is a child molester or rapist. But we just don’t know who we’re associating with anymore. It’s bad enough we have apes in suits calling themselves politicians trying to run things. But then again, who’s to blame? After all, the citizens of the world put these people in power, so they have to bear some of the blame.
There are billions of people all across the world, and I wasn’t born to be a savior to any of them. Well, I mean directly. I’ll help whoever I can out in the real world if I happen to come across someone in need of it, but I won’t go out of my way to help anyone. I’m trying to get through my own life unscathed while making sure I don’t do the same intentionally in return. So far, I’ve managed to do just that, especially by not drinking and driving, or murdering someone in a blind rage, despite how angry I am with humanity and its many hypocrisies, such as virtue signaling and other performative acts while contributing to landfills.
Of course there are those who spend their lives helping others, like nurses. For whatever reason, I don’t have that in me. Aside from being a husband and father, I feel my job is to create. To write. To share my thoughts and feelings. To have fun. To make people laugh, think, or feel any number of emotions. Maybe, in some offshoot way, what I do can help, but it’s nothing at all compared to what nurses and doctors do, let’s never forget that. Food, water, medicine, clothing, and shelter will always be far more important than art, music, movies, sports, etc.
That is all.
(Rough draft. I may revise and hone this. Maybe not.)